Due to the fears that we have we start to create comfort zones, we start putting ourselves into prison cells. We want to be able to move from here to there without too much change, challenge or threat to the idea I have of ‘who I am.’ The whole foundation of a comfort zone is created on the basis of who I think I am. However, considering that they are called ‘comfort zones’, there seems to be a lot of discomfort connected with them. So what is true comfort? How do I get back to feeling comfortable with myself and beyond the masks?
How is a comfort zone created? Through repetition I create a pattern. Every time we repeat that pattern it becomes less refreshing, more mindless and harder to break. We will find our comfort zones in the words we speak, in the thoughts we think and in the movements we do.
Say that you live in the city, it is physically tiring and the mass consciousness is very dense. You attempt to create a personal space, only after a while you find that this space has become a wall or a guard against something new. What were personal and respected spaces become zones of ‘don’t cross’, ‘don’t come here’, ‘stay there’.
We even communicate in ‘comfortable’ phrases. When we have seen a movie about values, that is positive and beautiful and we come away inspired we don’t say; ‘Wasn’t that inspiring, beautiful or warm’. We say ‘Wasn’t that a good movie’.
Why? Tiredness… we’re exhausted because our motivations are coming from noise and not from silence.
You have now lived with the same person for more than two years and over this time you notice that the level of your active and quality communication has gone down and down, now you’re both actually starting to hide behind your own comfort zones. You’ve started to not say things to each other. The future of the relationship is one where they just work in between each other, in a kind of convenience. There is no personal growth, in all relationships we must grow.
If I want to bring newness into my life I have to come out of the zone, renew my vision and become aware of the present moment. I have to go beyond that little fear of change that emerges bringing with it many negative thoughts.
Everyday you wake up to –unconsciously or consciously- to pursue your highest self. Comfort zones stop us knowing ourselves and reaching our highest potential. Comfort zones feel good, but they don’t allow us to make the choices that lead to true comfort.
1) Recognize and resolve rather than bust them and you will become free and open again.
2) Do something to defy the current fashion- do something good, recognising that it just my comfort zone that is being challenged.
When you feel tension in your mind -expressed in feelings, words or actions- it’s a sign that someone has invaded your comfort zone. It may be as simple as dirty shoes on a clean floor, whatever it is it brings you into peacelessness. You might say this is logical and maybe it is, but it shouldn’t bring one into peacelesness. If I ask you not to do ‘x’ and you take no notice of me it means that there is no communication between us. You are not catching on, empathising or understanding because when I speak I am tense and emotional.
3) When you notice that your comfort zone has been invaded go back into yourself, sit quietly with yourself and wait until you fully calm down. Renew yourself and the possibilities. Ask yourself: What it is that I don’t want to change? Why is it that I don’t want to go from here to there? If you sit long enough suddenly you’ll find your mind turn around and that you are yourself again. You’ll find that your mind will come up with something and that if you go and act upon it immediately it will resolve the situation. It may be a strange thought, like ‘go and make a cup of tea’, but just go and make it and see what happens. Have full faith that from a silent mind the thought that comes will resolve the conflict.
Other people will come out of their zones too when you yourself are quiet and free from tension. People will be encouraged to be more spontaneous when you yourself open your heart. Do it first!