First is your relationship with you
A) Do you know what your real needs are?
Sounds selfish? It isn’t though as when our deepest needs are not being met we feel frustrated, empty, dissatisfied etc. inside. This effects how we interact with others, even if we try to hide how we are feeling others sense it. Do you not sense someone’s sadness or anger even if they are smiling? Something seems amiss?
What you ‘need’ is important. Give yourself the time you need to reflect on this.
Exercise: sit quietly and relax. Let go of all that has happened today and focus inwards. Ask yourself: What is important to me right now? What today are my deepest needs? In silence just perceive/observe your thoughts and feelings, don’t question them or reject them just observe and learn.
Maybe on looking we see that what we ‘need’ is actually different form what we are receiving right now. However the question here is: Are you giving what you need to yourself? Ask yourself: Do I have ‘x’ for myself? (Where ‘x’ = respect, love, patience…)
What we give to ourselves… is what we give to others… is what comes back to us from others. In fact, our relationships with others are ultimately a reflection of our relationship with our self.
B) Do you know your potential?
Take an iceberg, how much of it is above versus below the surface of the sea? To discover your potential you need to know who you really are and your true nature. Step inwards and become aware of you.
When we know the ‘real me’ and our true potential’ we realise our own self worth and value. Each of us is needed in the world, each of us has a gift to give to the world.
(i) Who are you? Do you wear different hats depending on who you are with? At home? At work? Out with friends? This is to have a fragmented identity, in reality there is just ‘you’ playing different parts. Step inwards and observe ‘you’.
The more we step in and observe the more we see how much of ‘our image’ of ‘who we are’ is based on what we do or don’t do; on our possessions; on our position and on our ideas. So who is the one behind all this? Who is the one observing? Who is looking out through these eyes? Who is listening through these ears?
(ii) What is your true nature? Go back to what is important to you. Ask yourself why those things important to you. Strip them down; keep asking ‘Why do I want this?’ until you can go no deeper. Most likely you will eventually come down to you want ‘x’ as you believe that this will bring you happiness, peace, love or help you to understand truth. Why? This is because our true spiritual nature is love, peace, joy and truth, we are just trying to get back ‘home’ to oursleves.
Next is out relationship with others
We are designed to share not to be ‘dependent’ (needy) on each other. What is the difference between sharing and co-dependency?
What does it really mean to love?
Consider: What are you doing when you feel at your very best? When you can offer someone exactly what they need how do you feel? Are there any feelings of hurt at these times? Surely love doesn’t give pain? When we love we give and give and give and want nothing in return. When we love we are free (not dependent on a return or approval) and expressing our fullest and highest potential.
Becoming Co-dependent
When we identify ourselves wrongly as what we do/the body/our possessions we leave ‘home’ (our true self and true resources) and become needy. Now we go out to take not to give. Everything we give is conditioned and we become dependent on each other to fill what we feel is missing within us. To come out of this co-dependency we need to become full once again.
How do we fill-up? Re-charge our batteries?
First, we need to come back ‘home’ to ourselves.
Second, we need to connect to a source of power outside of ourselves (of unlimited peace, love, happiness…) The Supreme Source. If we could re-generate our own energy wouldn’t we wake up every day not just physically rested but also mentally rested and feeling full?
How do we connect to the Supreme Source?
We can connect by using the power of thought. God is just one thought away. One thought of remembrance.
What blocks this?
If we have to many other thoughts in our minds, such as, of the past, of things happening now, etc. we can’t connect as there is too much interference. We need to become still, observe and concentrate… Stop thinking for a moment, come ‘home’ to you -the peaceful soul- then we can feel the flow of God’s unconditional love. We don’t have to prove anything to be worthy of His love. Just be who we are, the peaceful soul.
