1. Being non-judgmental (understanding) versus judging: we don’t see things as they really are but through the filter of our own feelings, ideas and beliefs. We judge ourselves/others based on these rather than truly seeing/hearing. When we are being judgmental we become blinkered and we are not able to see beyond the situation and that ‘x’ behaved so / said ‘such and such’, but maybe they acted so because they were in pain/had just heard some bad news/etc.
2. Listening (valuing) versus stifling: do you ever find yourself finishing other people’s sentences for them? Here we are not even allowing others to speak. We anticipate what we think they want to say expressing our views and not even allowing them to express for themselves.
3. Being open (seeing truth not myths) versus assuming: this is stereotyping people based on gender, job, appearance etc. We assume ‘x’ is like ‘z’ even though we may never have even met them. We then behave towards them in a pre-determined way based on this pre-formed perception and don’t even give them a chance. We don’t meet them but our ‘image’ of them. Have you ever found yourself thinking of someone after you have known them a while … that they are in fact nothing like you actually thought they were, either way (better or worse than)? Here we are relating to our myths of each other. Real coming together only happens once we come to know each other’s hearts (truth).
4. Pausing (staying true to my truth) versus justified anger: we all have certain values and principles that we live by. When another breaks one of these we feel hurt. If we hear someone telling a lie about us or something we may feel angry. However all we are doing here is adding falsehood to falsehood. If we just stop for a moment before reacting and understand that if someone is lying it is because they feel weak and unable to face the truth – it is not because they are bad. Also to remind myself of my own truth (my humanity) and that anger takes me away from my truth. Then instead of adding anger to fear and getting into a downward spiral I can choose to show compassion and stop a potential conflict before it goes any further.
5. Being unlimited (believing in) versus expectations: we have expectations of ourselves and of others. This is linked to how we identify our self and others. We limit our vision of our self and others based on things like gender even thinking as a woman/man I have to behave like this/that. We limit our potential and our possibilities to achieve and that of others too. We put ourselves/others in a box defined by what we consider to be the maximum achievement possible for our self/them. Expectations incur a subtle pressure on our self/another to conform to that expectation, fears and past hurts are mixed in with this too. To believe in myself/others and my/their potential is an act of love.
How?
6. Have a spiritual dialogue with yourself: step back from all of those identities/faces you show to the world for a moment. Let us meet heart-to-heart. We all have three levels of identity, firstly: I the soul, the spiritual being of peace and love that I am. Secondly: I the human being. Thirdly: I the man/woman, the english/brazilian person etc. When we loose sight of our first and second identities we can also loose sight of our common humanity. When we remember though that firstly we are all spiritual being and then human beings our nobility emerges. Then naturally we allow ourselves and others to be and we act to empower each other to gain our full potentials.
7. Maintain your self respect (your self-esteem and self-worth). When we get affected by something that happens we tend to loose our self-esteem, we begin thinking to put our self down, think that ‘I am no good’ etc. Our self-esteem usually goes down when we are looking to attain love/regard from outside and when don’t get it…This leads us into feeling that we can’t face situations and there is confusion (not knowing what to do). So to be able to live by my highest truth I need to keep my self-respect, which depends on nothing external to me but on my own inherent value as a soul. However I am feeling… I create this atmosphere around myself. If I am in self-respect I can create uplifting atmosphere.
