When in a relationship, do I:
– walk into people’s boundaries, not pay attention to people’s hearts and say the wrong thing at the wrong time due to familiarity and carelessness?
– focus on the job that is to be done and give no attention to my relationships with the people that I am working with?
Then I might need to:
1. Think before I speak and slow down. I need to be quiet to pick up on people’s feelings, if they are feeling hurt or not. I need to do my groundwork of going inside and being silent daily, in the morning and evening, because I need to be present to pick up people’s feelings and how to approach to others. I need to spend time with ‘me’ to experience my goodness.
Question the self to get back on track: What is important to me? What do I want from life?
Then, at the end of the day I need to review what worked and what didn’t and let go.
2. What is going on in your back yard? Talk to people and truly listen to them. They will feel important.
When things go wrong in relationships:
– Communicate: go and talk to people about the problem but not with an attitude of blame or they will become defensive. Just let them know how you feel.
– When you get upset, if you want to learn and grow, don’t blame anyone else. See why you got upset. It is something in you that needs to change. Take responsibility of your own feelings.
– Learn to gently detach yourself from what you are feeling. You can’t say ‘I have always been like this’; you can change how you feel. Learn and build on it. Don’t keep the feeling for more than a day or the distance between you and the person gets wider and wider.
– You need humour to be able to laugh at yourself. Then you will be able to accept yourself and feel you can talk to the person who you have issues with.
Acceptance, respect and forgiveness are the ingredients needed to build healthy relationships.
‘But they are like that…’
Seeing the weaknesses of others is the worst thing that you can do to yourself as one day they become your own weaknesses because that is what I have been thinking on. Is my mind a dustbin to collect the rubbish?
How can I love everyone?
Start looking for a speciality. I am aware that no-one is perfect, but I focus on a quality. Each of us looks at life differently, like leaves on a tree. We have different shapes and see things differently. Learn to appreciate the differences. This is my world and my family. It is a deep internal feeling. When I feel this I am able to connect with the tree of humanity. Spirituality means there are no barriers or judgements but warmth in all my relationships.
