Check out with yourself the stages of meditation and see where you are.
First stage: Thinking– equivalent to the waves on the surface of an ocean.
Second stage: Feelings– equivalent to the currents beneath the waves. Currents are your conditionings; they keep you in a comfort zone and don’t allow you to go any further.
Third stage: Experience– equivalent to the bottom of the ocean. It is deeper, there’s stillness, clarity and no movement. You are in an expanded state of consciousness.
All these stages start with knowledge, what you know and want to experience about yourself. Knowledge-based meditation is leads you into experience, stage 3.
Knowledge gives a direction and an aim. Then you know which direction to go. You can then lead your mind in this chosen direction and even when the mind doesn’t believe you just go on talking to yourself. Struggle only comes when you resist those thoughts that are in a contrary direction. There’s nothing wrong with them, just say: “Ok mind, for a few moments I am giving myself this quality time.” i.e. have a subtle conversation with yourself and soon you’ll be able to come to experience the feelings you are aiming.
Also, tell your heart: I am going to give myself so much love. I am going to take my heart to God.
Visualise, verbalise… if there’s interest, feelings and experience will come.
It is not difficult; it is about appreciating myself. Once I begin to appreciate myself, then I will experience God’s love and His qualities and empower those qualities within me.
