There are two perspectives on this topic – the psychological and the spiritual. The psychological perspective is about integrating the head and heart energies and achieving internal balance. From a more Eastern esoteric perspective listening to the heart is about transcendence and going beyond. My approach is a combination of what I have experienced in my own meditative practice and what I have learnt from my work in personal development. In the corporate world the intellect is always perceived as superior and more impressive. You get ahead if you stay in your head. Anything to do with ‘feelings’ is flaky!
In Coaching Skills Training we speak about 3 levels of listening as follows:
Level 1. Relating to Self – I am listening to you but ‘thinking’ about my own experience/thoughts internally so therefore I am not listening at all.
Level 2. Relating to Others – I am listening to your thoughts and the facts and tuning into your feelings. At this level I empathize with you. This is the level that all good counsellors/facilitators/consultants aim to achieve.
Level 3. Intuitive listening – I am listening beyond your words and feelings and I am going with an instinctual impression/connection with you and what I am feeling in my ‘gut’ about what you are saying. This level is rare and requires the ability to be present and self-aware in the moment.
If we then take these three levels and think about them from a spiritual angle:
At level 1, I am aware of my own internal dialogue and that I am responsible for it.
At level 2, I have the ability to put myself in someone else’s shoes and feel what they are feeling – empathise and be ‘others orientated’.
At level 3, I am tuned into my ‘higher self’ or conscience and am acting upon that inner voice.
The conflict lies in differing perspectives on what the heart is. Some schools of thought perceive the heart to be linked to the heart chakra and the emotions. Others perceive that the heart lies within the conscience. My experience from the perspective of Raj Yoga meditation is that there is a ‘spiritual heart’ within the soul that contains pure spiritual feelings of love. When I am not tuning into my heart and am ‘stuck in a head-space’ I simply gain knowledge and power; but I may not be able to actualise what I know and make it real/happen. However, when there is deep internal balance the ‘heart within the soul’ is my barometer and becomes the driving force behind all my actions.
The ‘spiritual heart’ is working for the greater good. We experience those pure feelings occasionally and have a glimpse of it when we have moments of real beauty, such as when the sun sets, looking into the eyes of a new-born baby or moments of connectedness. The aim of meditation is complete internal balance between my intellect and heart – and then I become extraordinary.
In psychology you are encouraged to connect with your ‘wounded heart,’ to connect with the pain and work with honesty and acceptance towards integration. Through my meditation I have observed that being with the ‘wounded heart’ filled with pain, sadness, dependency etc. has not got me anywhere and that my heart needs to be healed and restored.
The aim within Raj Yoga is to achieve deep internal balance and connect my pure/divine intelligence with pure love from my ‘spiritual heart’. Some believe the two are connected. I guess that depends on where you are at inside. I perceive the ultimate state of enlightenment to be the experience of total love and light inside.
On the spiritual journey some people go through ‘heart shut-down’ and denial of their pain. Others go back into their pain and struggle to hear the voice of their conscience. The secret of Raj Yoga is that through becoming the witness of the wounded heart within I can become the observer and cease to identify with the pain, recognising that I am not that pain but a beautiful being of light.
In order to listen to the spiritual heart within we need to become still, because the heart whispers. In silence when I listen to the heart it enables me to go beyond one of the greatest enemies on the path – judgement of myself and others – to find compassion, acceptance and tolerance towards myself and others. This enables me to let go and be free to learn. In order to experience this I need to create space within and also create space for others. (A term used in coaching to describe the ability to ‘be’ with the self and others).
When we listen to the feelings of the soul – our world becomes as big as our heart. A generous heart grows through listening to the heart and sharing from the heart. The heart becomes strong, empowered and I will see results and goals being achieved in my life. Above all else I will experience happiness.
When I am working in the right way with my thoughts and actions then the quality of my actions and relationships become elevated. Then all I need comes to me. This only happens though when we let go of selfishness (which is based on ego) and become altruistic. Then we have love, compassion, patience, truth, tolerance in abundance, we are overflowing.
To love is to accept everyone and anyone as they are here and now. This doesn’t mean that I do not maintain my highest vision of others, rather that I accept them as they are right now knowing that when the time is right for them they will reach their highest potential. I allow them their journey of discovery. This also applies to myself.
It is also to accept all situations that you find yourself in i.e to not resist them or ask ‘Why me?’ This allows us to focus on the solution.
In creating this vibration of acceptance others feel cared for and nurtured.
