I am holding a bird tightly in my hands… now either I am going to squeeze the life out of it(!) or just remain holding it in my hands not letting it fulfil its purpose to fly or I just let it go.
Sometimes we think that we need to hold on to a relationship or situation in order for it to fulfil its purpose or be accomplished. However, in relationships when I hold on I don’t allow ‘X’ the space or freedom to express themselves and be who they are and I may even crush them. In situations (the job I am competent at but is no longer fulfilling) if I become stuck then I don’t allow new experiences to enrich me.
Usually we hold on out of our own inner insecurity, we are afraid and so we need. The moment we become stable and confident within -secure inside- then we don’t need to hold on anymore though. Circumstances constantly change, that nothing stays the same is a certainty!
Ask yourself:
-What image or impression keeps repeating in my head?
-What past scenes am I holding on to in my mind?
Letting go in practice?
1. Firstly give it importance, recognize that you need to be doing something about your own inner world.
2. Ask not “What is happening out there?” but “What is happening in here?”
We tend to think in terms of fixing things out there. However all we are really doing is applying some sticky tape. It holds for a little while and then another bit of tape is needed, then another and another… Eventually we run out of ideas about what exactly we can do out there. Another way? Things begin in the mind and then move outwards, so what we need to do is to sort out things ‘inside’ first. When we do things out there automatically get sorted out and permanently too.
3. Ask: Why do I need to hold on to people/situations?
When we ask this, the process of letting go becomes very natural. If we try to cut something with a sharp knife- blood flows and it’s painful. So go softly & gently, loosening & disentangling, and then at the right moment things shift and letting go becomes easy.
4. Ask: What is it that I really need?
Then start fulfilling your true inner needs. In filling up we find that we don’t actually need to hold onto that bird, that we can let it go flying free and then maybe find ourselves blessed by its’ coming back to rest in our hand out of its own free will.
There are lots of empty spaces within the soul. We think that other people and achievements are needed to fill them. As a child we probably thought it was our parents, friends and teachers. As an adult we think it is work, position, possessions and partners. Does it work? Has the feeling of emptiness within gone? Another way? The way to fill in the empty spaces is to go within and tap into our own inner resources and then to connect with the Divine, the infinite Source of peace and love. The possibility to connect to that Source is available to all of us at any moment of our choosing.
As we begin to fill the strength of peace, love, joy and power return to us and we find that we don’t need to hold on to people and things any more. We can be with them and there is an exchange of love and happiness and when we are not with them it is OK too. We are no longer dependent on them, the soul is in a state of freedom.
Letting go isn’t deprivation or sacrifice, letting go is freedom both for me and the other.
