Many of us are carrying a lot of internal grief from the past that it stops us from letting go and moving on. It may even be from so far in the distant past that we no longer know it is there as we have become so accustomed to living with it that it has become ‘comfortable’. There is though an underlying feeling of fear, a need to defend ourselves and to not let love in as love (because of hurt and pain that we do not want to experience and re-emerge) makes us feel vulnerable.
Have you noticed how we introvert sorrow? The result is that we hold onto sorrow, accumulate and repress it. This repressed sorrow becomes the source of our fear. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a Swiss Psychiatrist who lived in US, wrote about and ran workshops on death and dying. She worked with two main tenants: deal with the baggage (unfinished business) and ‘unconditional love.’ The deepest grief of all, she said, is one we all share; that of not having experienced unconditional love.
Love isn’t just love it is a multi-faceted jewel. As a diamond that catches the light and refracts it in all colours and in all directions so love can be offered and experienced in many different ways; such as gentleness, easiness, lightness, tolerance, acceptance, and humility.
Growing up we soon learn to be less innocent and trusting as we are rebuffed. Fear and the feeling that we need to protect ourselves grow. We project this fear out onto the world and see threat everywhere; we create a world founded on fear. We put up defences to protect ourselves; these separate us from each other and we lose sense of who we are.
Our need to protect ourselves in fact makes us vulnerable. Our focus is outwards, everything now depends on everything outside of us; what happens outside of us shapes our feelings and we constantly lose our peace of mind and happiness.
How do heal our mind, heart and soul?
What love asks is for us to become defenceless! What sort of a friend is this? Fear seems our better friend. Fear says we need to protect ourselves. When we lay down our defences though and let go of our sorrow something remarkable happens… all the tension, anger, pain and struggle go and we experience such peace and a fearlessness (this isn’t a quality but a space where love lives). This state of acceptance is of innocence rising again and allows us to re-experience our loving nature and gives us the freedom to express it. We are in fact no longer vulnerable, we are fearless. When we are fearless we are able to adjust ourselves to any situation or circumstance that we find ourselves in without losing our deep sense of self-respect.
How does sorrow come to us?
We take it in though our minds. Something happens and our mind uses past experiences to give it meaning. According to the meaning we attach to it we create sorrow or happiness. It is all happening in our own minds. Our mind gets caught in what is not real and makes it real. We then suppress our innocence and true loving nature and this separation gives us sorrow.
When we turn our mind inwards and return it to the core of our being and start to make friends with ourselves and to respect and love ourselves we heal the pain we have been holding on to. We find inner strength and develop faith in ourselves. Feeling more and more peaceful and loving we start to project these feelings, rather than ones of pain and fear, out onto the world. We look out on the world through our feelings instead of feeling the world.
Any discomfort in our consciousness is a signal that we have made a mistake and if we take note of this signal our opportunity to put things right before we get deeper entrenched, learn, grow and move on. When we are stressed, for example, we are making a mistake in our seeing and perceiving.
There is a place with us that is with us always and is beyond time; a place where magic can happen. In connecting our minds and hearts to spirit and soul and laying down our defences we re-connect to our innocence and purity within. The casting of our minds outwards from the soul, from where unconditional and unlimited love live, we find our vision of the world has changed; we see the eternal in everyone and this creates a vision of brotherhood and a world founded on love.