What do you do when you get angry? Neither lashing out or suppressing anger are ideal. Either way, we and others end up suffering. So, is there a third way?
Let’s explore anger a little more. Have you thought about what makes you angry? Injustice? Threats? Disappointments? Things not going your way? Things not being as you would like them to be? Others not being as you want them to be? Have you ever said: it was unfair, it was their fault, or, they made me angry?
Do you notice a thread here? If they had behaved differently or things had gone differently…
There are three things everyone wants: peace, love and happiness. Anger inhibits our ability to experience the best. To not get angry doesn’t mean that unfairness, other’s mistakes or injustice are right. It means that we are choosing how we want to feel and not letting other’s behaviour and situations choose for us. We can then choose to act from a place of empowerment, rather than reaction.
The third way is a change of consciousness. When we change our consciousness, our world changes. How do we go about this?
The first step is to get to know ourselves better – our triggers, our beliefs and our qualities. I can observe myself without judgement, as if watching an actor in a play.
The second step is to delve more deeply into the core of ‘Who am I?’ Take some time out to meditate on peace, love, happiness and ask what does success means to me.
The third step is to take responsibility for our own happiness, for our own actions. Some examples of things we can do are:
– When we feel the irritation rising don’t suppress it or lash out, rather, we can re-train ourselves to take a breath, step back and allow the feeling to pass through us. We can then honestly re-evaluate the situation, it can be surprising how different things can look when we feel calm rather than angry.
– Take a reality check. Am I focusing on the impossible? Am I focused on fixing others? Do I like it when others try to change me? Why do we want others to change? Usually it is to make our life easier. We exist to be our true selves, so practice shifting your focus to accepting, rather than trying to change others.
– If a discussion starts to become heated, check, am I attempting to understand their point of view or just defending mine. Understanding doesn’t mean to agree with what is being said, it is about creating good relationships.
