Question: How would it be if you had no buttons to push?
The method for this is to have the highest possible relationship with ourselves that we possibly can. Once we have developed such a relationship with ourselves we are able to ‘sit back’ -feel comfortable inside and just breathe- and ‘detach’ from all that is going on around us. In learning to do this we are able to come to know the world of our emotions and what they are telling us. We can then re-align ourselves to bring ourselves back to where we want to be.
On a spiritual path detachment doesn’t mean ‘cold and aloof’ but to be centred within yourself and totally present in the moment.
Becoming an emotional genius: first we need to know where we want to go (be emotionally, e.g. to live a life that is filled with happiness) and also to know where we are now. Then we just need to go from here to there. What stops us? Firstly, listening to others and following their directions (despite knowing our value and the value of what we are doing we allow ourselves to be influenced and do go off course). Secondly, when we try something and it doesn’t work out we become frustrated and close down, all we have done though is use the wrong ‘value’ for the time/need, instead we can learn from this what not to do next time.
Becoming an emotional genius: the first ‘value’ that we need to employ is to know that we can’t change someone else or what has happened, we can only change our response. When a situation arises ask: What can I offer here? Now I am not attempting to change you or argue with what has happened. When we are being pro-active and in giving mode we are no longer vulnerable and are able to be tolerant.
Becoming an emotional genius: focus on how you would like to feel and not how how you currently feel, this then becomes more and more strongly how we will see our self.
In the recent Olympic games those that won gold all spoke of how they prepared by reminding themselves of what it was like to perform at their best and of how they had the vision of themselves performing at their best. This became a belief for them.
Becoming an emotional genius: have a vision of success for others as well as for yourself. When we have a vision of just ourselves succeeding we achieve a certain level. If that vision of my success and yours, we get a double bonus. When we come together we achieve much more.
A gold winning paralympian said in advance of her event watching other’s races how she felt that their victories were her victories. Her focus was so on that feeling of victory. She won gold and set a new world record.
Becoming an emotional genius: if we look back we can see how when we have achieved something there has usually been someone there encouraging us. To become an emotional genius we need to learn to encourage ourselves. We tend to wait for or want others to tell we are good at ‘x’ or what we are doing is great and encourage us, even when we already know so.
Becoming an emotional genius: acknowledge your qualities/dreams and the qualities/dreams of others. When we say ‘not possible!’ we put up a wall; when we say ‘it is your dream’ and ‘I wish you well’ we release the energy of good wishes within us for them, and who expereinces this energy first? Doors open and opportunities arise. In honouring another’s feelings we honour ourselves too. What do I want to feel? Acknowledge this and let go of the rest. How do I see you? As someone who is managing or as someone with a special quality?
Becoming an emotional genius: talk to yourself with compassion, don’t bully yourself. Sit down for a chat with you over a coffee as you would with a friend. Negative emotions have an addictive element to them. Here we want to create a positive addictive pattern. The best time for this is in the morning. You set your day by how you see yourself in the morning so begin by saying ‘yes’ to you. See how your day goes when you do compared to waking up feeling like you have walked into a wall. Then take moments throughout the day to remind yourself of that vision of you, make it part of your day, such as, every time you take a drink you remind yourself. Invest in who you want to be, not in the sense of learning another skill but in who you are. Do this and you will see everything else transform itself.
