Two beliefs: Darwin’s ‘survival of the fittest’ and the creationist beliefs.
When we feel that life is about ‘survival’ we are instantly in competition with each other. Survival implies that there is not enough to go around and that to be the one to survive I have to get ahead even if it is at your cost. So, I become fearful and you become my competition. Then when our survival is ‘at risk’ our instincts take over and we find that we are prepared to do whatever is ‘needed’ in order to survive.
On the other side, the creationist beliefs describe life as a gift and intrinsically meaningful. They talk of one human family and of your life as being as important as mine as the next persons. Also that as one family we are all connected, meaning that my victory is your victory and my defeat is your defeat. So any private victory I have helps all of humanity and any enlightenment I have adds a bit more light to the world.
Imagine two business people; one feels full and abundant and wants to do the best for their customers, to make them happy. The second one feels that I have to survive, there isn’t enough to go around, I have to bring in the money. Eventually which one of these will the customers stay with/leave? It is the same in relationships; I am giving and others like being around me or I am needy and I become controlling, suspicious, jealous and in doing so drive the others away.
What is the fear about?
We are afraid of losing something: praise, love… the affirmation that I exist and that I am great. Ego says: look at me, aren’t I great, affirm and admire me, give me some energy, feed me. Ego needs to be affirmed and told that it is better than the other. Ego is consistently creating a story about how I am and how wonderful I am. Ego believes that some are better than and some not as good as you/me. This is all based on externals though.
What I am I can’t lose.
Ego is all things peripheral to myself that I have identified with and which are temporary (I can lose them). Real self belief is that I am valuable and that we are all equally valuable, we are just playing different roles in this vast drama of life. The street sweeper is no less valuable than the queen. To know ego is to know ‘I’ the real self.
The final question is: did you find out who you are? Eckhart Tolle has said that the purpose of our life is to finish ego and to find our real self. This real self is this divine being that is full of everything and not in any way needy.
Imagine not needing to sell or prove yourself to anyone. You are and who you are is something divine, a being full of love and light. This love connects us all, this is my human family. Do we not all resonate to some degree with all the human experiences of love, loneliness, loss, happiness etc.? The more our ego diminishes the more we appreciate others, fear goes and the more we see how everything we do affects our human family and the world. If a win for me means a loss for you then I haven’t really won either.