This is the age of rage. Road rage. Trolley rage. Air Rage. Net rage.
It’s now official according to a recent article in The Sunday Times.
Why do we become irritated/angry?
Usually it is because we are reacting to not getting what we want or to others not doing/being as we want them to do/be. We are in fact trying to achieve the impossible, that is, to control what we can not possibly control: others/the weather/events etc.
Why is it that we want to control these things?
Somehow we have made our happiness dependent on others/situations being as we want them to be. We think that only when they are so can we be happy. Then when my image of how things should be for happiness is different from your image of how things need to for happiness…
What is anger about?
Anger is an emotional disturbance in the energy of my consciousness.
a) the truth of anger is that I am its creator, not something outside of me and in fact whenever I ‘strangle’ someone I am in fact ‘strangling’ myself.
b) we have developed the false belief that it is good to get angry. However this is not so and it never can be so. By becoming angry again and again we reinforce the habit of anger and the likelihood of becoming angry.
c) anger is addictive as it stimulates certain chemicals in the body and then we begin to look for that ‘hit’.
d) over time being angry becomes part of our self-image: the grumpy/irritable persona. Then we need to go out to re-affirm this idenity we have created for ourselves. There is ‘reassurance’ in hearing people call me the grumpy one!
Anger also brings with it a family of friends. First there is anger and then comes sadness (linked to the illusion that I have lost something) and then blaming and then fear (in my imagination I create the possibility of the same thing happening again) and then we go back around and around in a circle.
Instead
1. Recognise that it is me and that it is never them. Stop and look inside and see that you are the creator of your own irritations. Why? There is such freedom in realising this. It gives me back the power to choose how I want to be independently of whatever is happening around me. My happiness is no longer dependent on others or events.
2. Do not suppress or repress or express but transform it before it takes shape. To be able to do this you must first be in a position of not wanting anything from anyone or anything. For this I need to realise that I already have everything that I need. Stop and step inside and realise that love is not something you get but that it is something that you are. Why? When I realise that love is what I am I am freed from desires and from needing/wanting things/others to be as I want them to be. Instead of needing I now have something to give and it is giving and not taking that fulfils me.
3. Be aware (i) of exactly what you are feeling right now and acknowledge (ii) this emotion (take responsibility for it and don’t blame it on someone else). Accept (iii) it rather than resist it: Hi irritation so you are back again! If I resist I create a battle inside of me which leads to suppression: I shouldn’t be feeling like this!. Next detach (iv) from the emotion, rise above/ascend it. By coming away from the emotion and observing it we withdraw the energy of your consciousness from it and so it dies away. A trick is to imagine that you are describing the emotion to someone, as in order to do this you have to stand back and observe it. Now tune into your centre (v)of peace and power, of silence, the place where nothing can touch you and any disturbance seems miles away. Go to the heart/the core of you through all the layers, and when you reach there you will see that all your hurts are illusions and they will just melt away – this is ultimate forgiveness to know that i am beyond hurting.
