However, do you ever find…
a) that you run into conflicts of success, e.g., what being successful as a parent means versus being a successful in my career means?
b) that feeling that there must be ‘something more’ or that ‘something is missing’ comes back even though you have achieved what you wanted too?
c) that you feel that you are spending your time just keeping all your roles spinning and not really enjoying any of them? It is a bit like spinning plates. We begin with one, then add another and another and another… and then we find the first one is about to topple so have to race there to put some more energy into it to get it spinning well. Now the third one begins to topple, then the fifth, the second, the tenth…
d) that your sense of value is all tied up in what you do/own/achieve? In having, for example, all the trappings of success of a particular role. Then if anything happens to any of those trappings you feel upset?
DNA of Success 1 = Do Not Ask
Discover the answer within – it is unique to you. You have the answer, it isn’t out there chasing the next more.
DNA of Success 2 = Discover New Attributes
Who do you admire? (p.s catch the first answer and not the second, the one you think it should be). What do admire in them? Their ability to be themselves, their courage, humility, compassion, enthusiasm, ability to laugh at themselves… These are your untapped qualities and attributes.
What qualities / attributes that you see in others move you? The ones that trigger a sympathetic response in you, in that moment you are experiencing that quality in you.
There is something called the Knowing-Doing Gap, the missing thing is within me, it is just that I haven’t brought it out into my life yet. Do and you will experience a sense of self-fulfilment. Bring these qualities to the surface and into your interactions. If, for example, you admire courage this means that this is important to you and so bring it into your day to day life. Start doing small courageous things. You will see how you will begin to feel better and more powerful as you bring out this quality in you.
DNA of Success 3 = Developing New Awareness
Our awareness of ‘who I am’ dictates what we see and how we see it. It is subtle and we get clues as to what our awareness currently is by the way the world presents itself to us. Are you seeing the world through the eyes of a mother, teenager, scientist etc. right now? The core of real success is to know who I am, the ‘I’ behind all the roles you are playing.
Also, it may be that you have been told that you are ‘x’ personality type and believing this you proceed to act it out- this dictates what you do / don’t do and what you express / don’t express. Personality though is only a preference. The word comes from the word ‘persona’ which means actor’s mask.
Subtly step back and observe yourself playing your different roles and others playing theirs. Switch for a moment from being the role(s) or personality to the one who is playing these myriad roles, the actor behind the mask(s). This is who you are. What constitutes you? Your inner qualities and attributes. They are yours to surface and bring into your day to day roles.
So, what is success? An understanding, an approach to life where we become the masters of our experience rather than victims of our experiences.