– ‘Attitude’ is a non-physical thing and it changes the atmosphere around us. Our ‘attitude’ sends out vibes and people pick up on these. Conflict resolution is all about looking at and changing my attitude.
– Our body is our vehicle. Each of us has an inner world, an inner being, the soul, the driver. Becoming aware of this inner being gives me a lot of control. This inner being is energy and is where our potential – our virtues – lie. When I see others as being that inner being I then focus on what is beneath the surface that they present and so I develop respect for people and stop judging them. They will feel understood and they will want to cooperate rather than come into conflict.
– People have their own ways of doing things. We should accept people the way they are.
Taking time to understand makes a shift in our attitudes. We develop a more benevolent, supporting attitude.
– There is one thing that can change people; the power of love and silence. I cannot make anyone realise something. They have to do that for themselves. The power of my silence can be like a mirror though for the other person to realise themselves.
– We should not have familiarity in the relationships. When there is familiarity, people push and manoeuvre. I need to maintain a certain distance around another person and have self-respect and dignity.
– If there has been conflict with someone I have to put it right. It is not enough to stop doing the wrong behaviour. From the moment I realised what I did wrong I have to do the opposite to that at least 10 times if I want to regain their confidence.
But, at the same time as resolving conflict with others, I need to first understand what is going on within the self.
What is authenticity, the real self?
What are the underpinning values of each role/relationship I have?
What is my brand? What are ‘they’ seeing? What messages am I giving out?
What are my inner spiritual needs?
What sort of life am I living? How can I be in the world and be myself?
How far do I stick to my own values?
Authenticity is a journey. I can become authentic by being true to myself. Get rid of the fear of walking your talk.
Give yourself that time to get to know your values. Am I living these values? I really need to understand my values. We all have values inside of us. I have to do what is comfortable for me and sometimes compromise, for example, wearing something suitable for a place. Let me stick to my values but not isolate others. There is no need to separate myself from others.
What works for you is authentic. It is only when I experience peace, etc that I will receive the power to act on it. Let me accept myself and understand the peace inside.
