Do you feel that you need to lighten-up a bit? Is something weighing you down? Letting go is an art, and the result is more freedom, peace and happiness in life. The art of letting go is about knowing the why, the what, the hacks and the trip-ups to watch out for.
The Why. The stronger the ‘why’, the better. Our ‘why’ generates our enthusiasm and determination. It is the gift that letting go will give you. What do you want to experience more of in your life? Peace, love, happiness, lightness, freedom, contentment or wisdom? This is your ‘why.’
The What. This may involve a bit of detective work. The answer may even surprise you. It is to dive under the externals and come to know what it is you really need to let go of to attain your ‘why.’ It can be easy to get side-tracked here, and make it about the situation or the other person, and how they need to change. Only this keeps us from achieving our ‘why.’ So, don’t be fooled. Remember your ‘why.’ Dive deep and let go of victimhood for empowerment. What old huts and sorrows, beliefs, patterns or vision of yourself and do you need to let go of? These are the real things that we need to let go of.
- Mindfulnes Just begin by becoming more aware of your patterns and reactions. Be the non-judgemental observer of ‘you.’ Awareness leads to realisation about what we need to let go of and onto choosing something better.
- Insightful Questioning. Notice how you are feeling and investigate why you are feeling that way. Such as, if you feel peaceless you might ask yourself: Am I angry about something? Is there something I need to forgive? Become aware of how holding onto the anger and forgiveness is hurting you. Choose to allow yourself to see a way to let go and experience peace and freedom.
- De-Clutter and Flow. We are taught to believe that the more we accumulate, from possessions to titles to likes on Facebook, the happier we will be. Has this proven true? Consider this: happiness lies in giving and receiving rather than in accumulating. Let go, be present and flow.
- Be Curious. Let go of always having to be right. Sometimes we cling to our ideas, conditionings or ways of thinking. When challenged, we then get upset, insulted or feel rejected. What if others’ perspectives are just that and can enrich us? Let go of having to be right and be curious.
- Shed False Identities. We wear many identities from boss, employee, mother, son to athlete or singer, and in doing so we can forget who we really are. If one of these identities goes, such as, we are made redundant; we can feel lost and empty. So we run around trying to control the external situations that give us our identity. Let go of external identities and become the whole real you.
- Seek Open Doors. Are you sitting outside shut doors, or even banging on them, in the hope that they will open? If one door shuts know that it is because it is the wrong door for you. Let go and walk towards an open door.
- Generate Happiness. Practise gratitude, watch a funny film, see the funny side of situations or do something you enjoy. Happiness creates resilience and allows us to let go of feeling we need to defend ourselves against life. It lets us move into enjoying the gift of the present.
- Relief is always temporary. Letting go is permanent. Sometimes we mix up these two. We just need to be aware of the difference. When we supress or express our anger, for example, we may feel better in that moment. However, the same thing keeps happening and we get more embroiled. Relief isn’t a lasting solution. Letting go is. To let go, we need to investigate what is causing us to feel angry. Maybe it is because we don’t feel that we are being listened to or we are trying to control things that are beyond our control.
- Others. We are influenced by the people around us. If we hang out with a complainer, for example, this will rub off on us. We will find ourselves complaining too. Instead, find some more supportive, uplifting and inspirational company.