Do you find yourself craving others’ approval and doing ‘whatever’s needed’ to attain it? At times we’ve all probably done things just to please others. However, living for others’ approval, can have quite a detrimental effect on our lives.
We may find ourselves juggling so many balls, in our attempt to keep everyone happy, that we end up feel completely stressed out. Sometimes we find ourselves working excessive hours, because we can’t say ‘no,’. At other times we may find ourselves going along with something we know isn’t right, simply to avoid rejection.
A key question is: Does attaining others’ approval or praise dictate your choices and actions? It may have begun out of just wanting to make others happy, only now, any decisions we make are based on ‘What will they think?’ rather than ‘What do I think?’
How about it? Is it time to stop? Is it time to discover what you think? It may seem scary to stop at first. Maybe you are afraid that the real you isn’t good enough? Maybe you are afraid of being rejected?
Consider, is the cost of living dependent on others’ approval worth it? It is to live in a state of constant anxiety and at worst you may well find yourself doing something that you know is wrong.
A good place to start is to re-discover your own innate values. If you feel that something is wrong most likely you are going against your innate values. Start exploring what your inner values are. Have you compromised them in order to attain others’ approval? Do you really want to do this anymore? After all, is it really possible to make sure everyone approves of you all the time?
To make decisions based on our values, rather than on others’ approval, is to honour ourselves.
Now, imagine how you would be if you didn’t need others’ approval? What would you be doing? What sort of person would you be? Take time out to re-connect to your innate qualities of peace, love, happiness and wisdom. The morning is a good time to sit quietly in meditation and reflect.
When we start living by our innate values and expressing our true nature and inner qualities we will also find that others’ start treating us with much more respect than before, and may even start following our lead.