Children know all about being happy. What happens to us as we grow? Where does our happiness go? What clouds our natural contentment, joy and bliss? Why do we end up seeking it here and there? Why when we find it, doesn’t it last? What beliefs do we develop that inhibit our happiness?
1: “I’ll be happy when I have . . .”
Do you believe you can only be happy once you acquired a certain thing? Would you agree though, that ‘having’ mostly only brings temporary happiness? That at times we find ourselves worrying and fearful of losing what we have? Ask yourself: What do I believe that I have to have in order to be happy? Is it true that having these things will bring me lasting happiness?
2: “When I’ve done . . . I can be happy.”
Do you believe you can only be happy when you achieve a certain goal? We work hard and struggle towards our goal. There is always the grey cloud of doubt looming over us, making us wonder if we’ll make it. The journey becomes serious and hard going. Eventually we achieve our goal and we have made it, only our happiness doesn’t last! So we set ourselves a new goal and off we go again. Check-in with yourself: Am I striving to achieve something in order to be happy? Is it true that these achievements are going to make me authentically happy?
3: “This is so exciting!”
Do you confuse excitement with happiness? Do you run from one thrill to the next? Are you in constantly in pursuit of some form of stimulation or adrenaline rush, in the belief that it will make you happy? Reflect on this for a moment – excitement is actually a state of agitation! Is agitation true happiness? Ask yourself: Do I confuse excitement with happiness? Are these thrills real happiness?
4: “I need someone to make me happy”
“You made me so happy.” We are taught that others should make us happy. As a result we make our feelings dependent on how others speak and act towards us. In this way we actually make others responsible for our feelings, instead of taking responsibility ourselves. Ask yourself: Who am I depending on to make me happy? Is it true that others are responsible for my happiness and not me?
5: “I have to be the best . . . win . . . to be happy”
I have to be the best, to win to be happy. We are taught to believe in the ‘survival of the fittest,’ that the world is competitive and we must be top dog to survive. We live comparing our successes against others successes. We live in fear of not surviving. Ask yourself: Who am I out to beat, in the belief that it will bring me happiness? Is it true that winning will bring me genuine happiness?
When we buy into these beliefs we are guaranteed to make ourselves unhappy in order to become happy. We find our journey to happiness becomes solemn and often the resulting happiness is a fleeting experience. So, how about dropping these sabotaging beliefs and instead choosing to cultivate contentment, joy and bliss? Authentic and lasting happiness is about being who we really are and not something we have to strive for or can buy. Choose happiness now.
