Do you find yourself saying, “What if…?” all the time? It might be about work, family, bills, rent, mortgages, travel… It is as if our head is in clouds of worries and we are their prisoner. Living a happy and stress-free life may be seem like an unreal dream.
First of all, take stock. Look back and see how many of your worries came true? Second, on the occasion they did what happened? How did it turn out? Might it actually have turned out better? How much time have you spent worrying about nothing when instead you could have been enjoying today?
Worry robs us of ‘today’ – of enjoying being with our friends and family and seeing the beauty around us. We may even create patterns of behavior, aimed at helping us to reduce experiencing worry, but instead we find ourselves more trapped than ever.
What if I can’t pay my bills? What if I make a mistake? What if I lose my job? What if I get sick? What if I’m late? What if it’s the wrong decision?
“What if…” and we are creating that scenario in our mind right now and living it right now. Only it isn’t happening. It exists only in our mind.
Admit: You are worrying
Don’t push your worry to the back of your mind and let it fester inside. When we face our worries, more than not, we find that they aren’t as scary as we thought they would be.
See: Is there something you can practically do now?
If there is something you can do to deal with a worry then by all means, do it. Act and then leave it at that, for example, pack an umbrella if it looks like rain and then stop worrying about whether it’s going to rain or not. If you’re worried about being late for a meeting, plan out how to make sure you arrive with plenty of time to spare.
Ask: Is this worth worrying over?
OK, if this really does happen what will it mean? Will I even remember it in 2, 4, or even in 6 years time?
Ask: What if something goes right?
There’s two sides to “What if…?” There’s at least a 50-50 chance of it going right too! So, what would be the best possible outcome?
Build: Faith in yourself and life.
Sometimes what we are really saying when we worry is that, if this happens I don’t think that I will be able to handle it. How do you know though that you won’t be able to handle it if it hasn’t happened yet? In the past, when something you were worrying about did happen, what happened? Recall the times you did handle it or how the help you needed at that time turned up. In hindsight, did that ‘bad’ thing even turn out to be a ‘good’ thing? Increase your belief in yourself and in life, if it does happen, well, you’ll deal with it. ‘I can handle it.’ So, what is there to worry about?
By realistically facing our “What if’s…” we free ourselves to enjoy whatever today might bring. We know that the positive “What if… ” is just as likely to happen, and if the other happens, well, we can handle it. And who knows, it may even turn out to be something beneficial for ourselves and others.
