Long live the Button Pusher
Some people know just which buttons to press, and when we don’t know any better we just go ahead and let them. When they push our buttons, anger seeps out of us like water flowing out of a tap. Then later, we are faced with feelings of regret or perhaps a running commentary of justifications in our minds… as well as feeling worn out.
95% of our pain is caused by bad relationships, we get caught in their negative cycle. We respond out of habit and regret it later. To break these habits we need to stay alert and take some time to reflect on these everyday situations.
Ever noticed that you can take life far too seriously and that there’s a need to see things a bit more playfully? To see it like a game offering opportunities to clear out the old and useless patterns of our subconscious mind? We need to be very clear before we meet our button pushers just how we want to be and how we want to play. Ideally I’d like to be calm, open, understanding and comfortably assertive – ready to score points not with them but myself.
When that button gets pushed… So what’s going on inside this reaction? When we see or hear something we don’t like it triggers a memory in our subconscious that we re-experience in our conscious mind, in our thoughts and feelings. We ‘play out’ that memory and project it onto the current situation. What we have lost sight of is that this is a completely different situation. It’s a new situation and it needs a fresh openness, a listening ear and clarity of mind. It’s this old disturbance from suppressed memories and emotions that gets in the way.
Something to remember. Whatever is in the way is the way and the perfect opportunity for me to understand myself better. Believe it or not, we need button pushers… they help us to clear out our subconscious mind. If we are willing to take time to reflect on these moments in life and become aware of how we would like to respond instead we can. Whoever it is that ‘pushes your buttons’ is exactly the right person for you right now, our enemy becomes our best friend so to speak.
An experiment for when you are going to meet someone who pushes your buttons! Just before meeting this person pretend that you are actually just about to take part in a game. There are two players: yourself and X. In this game it is X’s job to push your buttons and your job is to not let this happen.
The trick: see both yourself and X as intrinsically good people coming into this game to play your respective parts. X gets a point every time you lose your cool and you get a point every time you retain it.
Game on!
This blog is part of “The A – Z Challenge”, shifting one negative habit a week into a positive. For more info on the challenge, click here: https://www.innerspace.org.uk/challenges/a-z-challenge.php
