When we forget who we are stress, anger and fear emerge. At the core of our being we are beautiful and we all have the capacity to live a peaceful and loving life.
A Reflective Exercise:
Sit quietly and emerge a situation in your life that ‘makes’ you angry. Quietly observe… without judgement… and reflect on these questions:
-What is your behaviour? Do you completely shut down? Hit something?
-How do you feel inside? Ignored? Insulted?
-What thoughts are going around in your mind?
-What is the effect on your body?
-What is/ was the outcome?
-If you were in that situation again would you unequivocally choose to act in the same way?
-If you were in an ocean of peace and love how would you have behaved in that same situation?
As it is said that darkness is just the absence of light, similarly anger is an absence of light- the light of understanding and knowing who I am. To make changes in our lives we need understanding and realisation.
3 levels of action (motivation)
First level- Right actions. We are living by a high code of ethics. Our actions are selfless- I don’t do something because it will give me fame, money etc. I am beyond the fruit of my own actions in effect. I remain at peace and content.
Second level- My preferences. It’s about me- my desires and doing everything to make then manifest. I may have to push people to get what I want. ‘I am always right, you are always wrong’. I, in fact, become so totally focused on what I want though that I become trapped- I forget why I wanted that thing in the first place and find myself going from one desire to another- the fruit never seems to get me where I want to be.
Third level- Feeling powerless. The more we do something the more it becomes powerful in our lives- it takes just 66 days to develop a habit. If we consistently make decisions according to our past, what people will think etc. then this becomes the rule of our life. We end up feeling powerless and helpless to bring about any changes in our lives. We start to feel like victims and hopeless. We say: I can’t change; I need to survive…
Motivations
Anger is associated with levels 2 and 3. To go to level I (beyond anger) we need to re-assess our motives, for example, am I kind because I want to be loved or am I doing things simply because I am great and want to express my qualities?
Reflect:
-Think of an activity that you would really love to do. (e.g. skiing)
-How do you feel when you are doing this activity? Go deeper than just the feeling of feeling good (e.g. of freedom)
-What does this feeling mean to me? (e.g. joy and feeling alive!)
-I ski for the feeling of freedom, joy and being alive it brings me.
-How do you feel if you are deprived of that activity/ have to spend a lot of your life doing things you must do instead?
Often we do things to experience:
-peace: the feeling of having a mind completely content and at rest.
-love: feeling appreciation and love for who you are and the gift that is yours to share with the world.
-happiness: the feeling of being alive.
-powerful: being able to remain stable and calm.
-wisdom: knowing.
Breaking the Ties
Anger is a letter away from ‘danger’. It’s a sign there is something wrong- that I am not doing what nourishes me in my life. It is a sign that I am not cultivating something that is very important to me- peace, love, happiness, feeling empowered or a sense of truth.
Meditation is a way for us to cultivate these qualities within ourselves and experience them everyday, whether we are on the ski slopes or not.
Experience peace- not just the peace that you feel when walking in a forest for example – a deeper peace. When I am nourishing peace, love, happiness I automatically benefit others.
