Unconditional love is acceptance. It accepts and embraces the self and others. It knows that no-one is perfect right now and that we all have hurts that we need to heal. It knows that everyone is doing their best. Conditional love criticises.
Unconditional love is balance. The male and female principles are in balance. The male principles of peace and stability with the female ones of love and security. The male principle is accurate and the female one flexible. Conditional love is unbalanced. It becomes either too rigid or too flexible.
Unconditional love is constructive. It seeks to build bridges. Conditional love is destructive. It finds fault and condemns.
Unconditional love is contentment. A feeling born out of inner fullness. It says, ‘I have attained everything I ever wanted.’ Conditional love is restless. It’s searching for inner attainment.
Unconditional love is empowering. Conditional love creates dependency. Its feeling ‘good’ becomes dependent on others, doing or possessions. Over time it becomes afraid of losing these things. Fear replaces love.
Unconditional love is flowing. It doesn’t hold onto the past. It’s able to learn and move on. It makes ‘mistakes’ into stepping stones on the path to success. Conditional love regrets. This keeps it anchored in the past.
Unconditional love is free. It has no expectations or desires for a ‘certain’ return. It therefore doesn’t suffer if things take a different turn. Conditional love expects and then when things don’t go as planned it suffers.
Unconditional love is ‘royal’ manners. Is it good manners for the head (ego) to beat up the heart? In this way unconditional love becomes conditional love. The heart no longer feels safe. It starts to look elsewhere for love and support.
Unconditional love is respect. There’s respect for the self, others and the world. Conditional love becomes selfish and dis-connected. It loses sight of the inter-connectedness of all things.
Unconditional love is response-able. It maintains its dignity and honour. It’s the master of itself. Conditional love reacts. It’s influenced by ego, selfish desires, greed, anger or attachment. It creates conflict within and without.
Unconditional love is solution orientated. It sees the possibility. It’s in the present moment. It knows that the solution lies within. It emerges the quality it needs to create win-win situations. Conditional love sees problems. This blocks it from seeing solutions.
Unconditional love is truth. It doesn’t need to defend or prove itself. There’s a natural feeling of rightness inside. Conditional love moves to defend or prove itself. It states ‘I am right.’
Unconditional love is wholeness. Conditional love is seeking for wholeness. There’s a feeling of brokenness and emptiness. Only no-body or no-thing can fill this hole. Only we can heal our hearts. We need to turn inwards and upwards.
Does this sound like a tall order? Yet still we search for it. Why? At some point in time, we must have known it. Otherwise, why would we search for it? We search for it out in the world. We have searched in so many places. Have you found it? Are you tired of searching?
What if we have been searching in the wrong places? What if the searching is keeping us from finding? What if it doesn’t reside out in the world? What if it resides within our hearts? Then what?
Perhaps we need to call of the search and allow ourselves to discover the unconditional love that lies within our own hearts? Instead of searching for it, allow the self to experience it. Emerge it from within. Forgive the self. When we forgive ourselves we are able to heal and feel whole once again. This fullness then naturally overflows and serves to heal the world.
Thank you for the beautiful words.
I just believe in some parts you mean to say “conditional love” and it is a bit confusing.
Thank you. Fixed it.
I read a lot of posts but the topic covered in this is the most comprehensive and helpful.