When I am listening it is my heart that hears; hearing I understand.
A management trainer gave the following exercise to 100 people. He asked them to draw a diagonal line across a blank piece of paper and write their name at either end. He repeated this instruction twice and then collected the pieces of paper. It turned out that only 20% of people did this exercise correctly.
1) to be able to take in information.
2) to digest and use that information
3) to delete what is no longer needed
Life is full of relationships and relationships are about communication.
To be listened to:
We listen more to someone who is genuine/authentic – experiencing and practicing what they are talking about. So first communicate with you. Listen to and hear your truth. There is more than one voice talking inside- there is the voice of the head and the voice of the heart. When we become truth- we are listened to and heard. Listen to yourself – to be listened too.
1) Use appreciative enquiry.
A speaks and B listens, saying nothing apart from that which will support, validate or check what A is saying.
2) Be the detached observer.
To listen we have to be available; not be caught up in many different things; not get sidetracked by our emotions; have the power to stop doing whatever we are doing and just listen to you. The detached observer is able to give their full attention to the other and listen completely.
3) Don’t interrupt- Be respectful.
When someone says something wait 3 seconds before replying- to make sure that they have finished.
4) Be patient.
When patient, we are more present and engaged and have ‘the time’ to hear what the other has to say.
Listening is also our opportunity to learn and grow; to see the whole story and so be able to discern truth from falsehood.
5) Be tolerant – We all have our own story.
If we are listening sometimes we will hear things that we don’t like. At such times we need to bring in tolerance on our side. If we react communication finishes; ego stops us listening to each other.
6) Practice silence.
Living in this world of noise it may be that silence frightens us. We are used to noise. Silence of the mind truly lets us listen and hear one another.