Make Your Self-Talk Work

self talk 3

Talking something through with yourself helps organise your thoughts, and helps you work things out.  How?  Holding a conversation naturally holds your attention, conversing with yourself enables you to naturally focus your attention on the issue long enough to sort it out. Otherwise like snapchat, our inner chat is easily lost or distracted, with the slightest disturbance or interruption.

According to Einstein: people who talk to themselves are highly proficient and count on only themselves to figure out what they need.

Do you use these 3 types of helpful self-talk (whether it’s your inner dialogue or your quiet murmuring to yourself):

Motivational Talk: good for tasks or for when you need speed, strength and power.
Technique:  Refer to yourself in the 3rd person. Instead of saying ‘I can do it…’, replace it with, ‘You can do it’.
Why: Doing this helps you to see things more objectively and manage difficult emotions more effectively.  When you refer to yourself in the third-person, or by name, it helps you to create enough distance from your negative self-talk to up your emotional control in a big way. It is very much like the space you are in when you are advising a friend about a situation.

Usually it is used when we want to psych ourselves up for something challenging or boost our confidence.

Instructional talk: perfect for when you need to focus and be strategic.
Technique: Identify the common threads of your dialogue.
Why: How we talk to our self about events and people can inspire and boost our energy and enthusiasm, or it can deplete all our resources.  So, take the time to write down the important and frequent threads. Then, identify what you want to achieve. Now, match your self-talk to your needs. Use key words or small phrases.

Transformative talk: great for changing attitudes, belief systems and perspective.
Technique: Use appropriate empowering quotes, sentences and realisations to delete old belief systems that you want to change. Keep repeating them to yourself on a regular basis.
Why: To switch gears. Neuroplasticity says as you create a new neuron pathway, the old one dies off because it stops getting attention.
What kind of gears you can switch to:

  • Gratitude gear: keep challenging yourself to see the benefit in every situation, the silver lining in every cloud
  • Complaint-free assertiveness gear: catch yourself when you are about to complain or gossip about something/someone. Challenge yourself either to stop saying it or say it as a fact without putting any negative emotions or judgements behind it. Just state the facts only to the people who can do something about it. For example: tell the waiter that your soup is cold, and not complain to your friends while getting upset about it.

So, what’s your next self-talk conversation going to be like?

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