There are two dimensions to this. Firstly, recognising what you do have, [internal] and secondly ‘welcoming’ the situations that arise or you find yourself in, both the ones you enjoy and those you would prefer were not happening. [external]
1. What do I already have?
– relationships: family and friends and how they enrich your life.
– your ‘work’: maybe you are lucky enough to be doing something that you really love.
– the qualities and attributes that you have
– it is about changing our focus from ‘going out and getting’ in order to be content to recognising and enjoying what I already have and sharing that with the world. Society tells us we have to ‘go and get’ and that then we will be happy, but have you noticed how after a while having attained whatever that was you thought it was that would bring you that happiness you become restless and again something is missing and needs to be ‘gone out and got’ so that this time you really do feel a lasting fulfilment?
**Clues to the qualities and attributes that you have but that you do not recognise that you have and consciously used:
a) recall any moments you can when you have felt more alive, light, happy, easy, in the flow, content, whole, etc. This can be a simple an example as smiling at a passing stranger in the street. Why? – because at these times you were using one of these inner qualities even if you were not so aware that you were.
b) think about people you admire and respect – a friend, a celebrity, a character in a film or even in a poem – and what it is about them that you like? Why? – because what is happening is that you are resonating within with that quality that they are expressing and you are experiencing it in yourself. Recognise that these are your qualities and begin to use them in your day to day life. If it was not one of your own qualities it would not resonate with you.
Each living thing has its own intrinsic value because it exists. When we ‘see’ our good qualities we can begin to value ourselves and we also begin to value others more too as we are able to ‘see’ their good qualities too.
2. Wanting the situations you find yourself in
This is easy if it is the ones you like – although do we always appreciate these – but what about the ones that make you heart sink and you think; Oh no!
The key is to understand that whatever is happening is actually exactly the right thing for me right now and has great benefit in it for me. If I look at whatever comes in front of as an opportunity to learn and grow and become stronger or more compassionate or whatever it is you may want to move more towards. Then I could even find myself excited about the ‘difficult’ situation in front of me as I am anticipating that I am going to learn something beneficial and become more the person I want to be as a result. Have you noticed that it is often after those times of greatest confusion that afterwards we see that we gained the most benefit from. It is also important to acknowledge when things are going well as this is your inventive not to give up when things seem not to be going so well.