Shall I tell the truth and be truthful?
First ask yourself: What my purpose in doing so? What am I trying to achieve? What are my true motives?
What is the truth? Should I be truthful?
Say that my child is bad at maths right now. Yet I can see that s/he has the ability to improve. What shall I say?
Then maybe we say to ourselves, ‘I can’t do this!’ – when the truth is that I actually have the capability to learn how to. What do I say?
Head and Heart
The head is concerned with facts and tends to be black and white in its feedback. Our challenge is to take the heart into consideration too. The heart first asks, ‘What does this person need right now? What is going to help them most?’ It may be as little as a smile or your good wishes for that person to go away feeling valued.
- What is my motive in telling the story this way?
- Am I judging as much from the heart as from the head?
- Am I ready to hold the mirror up to myself too?
- Is what I am saying beneficial to the other person?
- Am I just trying to make myself look good here?
- Is there a way of saying this that the other person feels that they are not invalidated and can learn from this?