All our lives we are influenced by everything around us: words, temperature… looks, foods, moods, and shoulds (expectations). We are influenced by our bodies; when tired, when fat, thin, beautiful, ugly. It is an exhausting way to live, from being swept of your feet in one minute to coming crashing down in the next. It hurts.
What does being influenced look like?
- When you are forcing change in others, wanting them to be in a certain way, it means you are being influenced.
- When you are annoyed, when you react, you become negative, that is you take the colour of the person or situation in front of you; that’s also being influenced.
This is like being a victim, having no control over your reactions. A chameleon has total control over the colours it adopts. It doesn’t expect its environment to change its colours for it to feel safe and peaceful, would it? Instead it adapts.
How to be the best chameleon?
Choose the best colours you want to adopt, make it your choice. Don’t pick any colour that is around. Choose the moods you want to be in, choose the thoughts you want to think, choose the vibrations you want to emit. Get inspirations from people, nature, situations and adopt them.
How to do this?
To be inspired, you need to look and be curious, be focused and alert. When you are inspired, you know what it is that has inspired you. But, influence comes as a shock, it hits you; you don’t know what it is because you are not aware, not focused and when you are not focused, you are hit, that is you are influenced.
Can I teach myself to see the inspiration in whatever I am influenced at that moment? For example, when I am tired, can I be inspired to look after my body rather than get annoyed by its limited capacity?
You can be inspired when you know yourself, when you have true self esteem which comes from knowing your value, your uniqueness. Then, everything around you becomes an inspiration, and not a threat. And when you are inspired, then you can inspire others and turn being influenced into being influential. You are not a victim anymore; you can be yourself, at your core, with everyone, while being adaptive to people’s needs and moods without losing yourself. You change and adapt by choice and not by force.
How would I act when I am inspired?
When inspired by time: you say ‘I have 5 minutes, what can I do?’. When influenced, you say ‘I have only 5 minutes, not enough to do anything ’.
When inspired by others: Jealousy changes into growth and learning, and criticism into appreciation. The only way to do that is to work on your self esteem, on your thoughts about yourself, getting to know your own goodness, your strengths. Then, you won’t feel threatened, but be inspired. It’s then, you can change the habit of being influenced (‘Gosh, they are so negative’) to a new habit of being inspired (‘Let me remember something good about them’) and ultimately see goodness in people and yourself, no matter what.
Inspired by events: You trust in everything that comes your way. You trust the situations that life presents to you, trust your pain, etc.
Inspired by feedback: When you are solid in your self-esteem, you can easily take and ask for feedback because it will be an inspiration and you won’t be hit by it by seeing it as a criticism.