Everything is great, and then suddenly not so. What happened? Something is said or done or not done, and our happiness goes. We have made our happiness dependent on others’ behaviour. The secret is to not place something as precious as our happiness, in the hands of others. To keep hold of our own ‘mood’ remote control. It is inevitable that at some point others will say or do something that we don’t like. If we stay in charge of our ‘mood’ remote control, at that point we can stay calm, objective and be our own boss.
10 Keys to Happier Relationships (Keeping the remote control firmly in your hands)
- Love more, Law less. Choose to give others the benefit of the doubt versus jumping on in there with reprimands. We know love works better than anger for long-lasting results.
Tip: keep in your mind the others’ qualities rather than their weaknesses.
- If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. Words are words, it is we who chose to give them importance. If we don’t mind, they stop right there. When we mind, we pick them up and take then with us.
Tip: know your own worth. Meditation enables us to know and unearth our inner treasures and self-respect.
- Discovery over Judgement. We tend to be fast to judge others. Instead, take a breath and be inquisitive. Why might they be behaving that way?
Tip: try it on yourself as well. What made me say or do that? Dig deep and discover how everything we and others do is under-laid by a belief. This inner work will bring us more peace, love or happiness.
- Everything happens for a reason. The people in our life, the conversations we have, the situations that happen… everything is for a reason. There are hidden benefits in everything. Something not working out could even be the drama saving us from something.
Tip: just give it a go and start looking for the benefit in things.
- Surprise Me. Choose to drop your expectations about how others should be or things should turn out, and choose to be surprised. When we are caught up in expectations, we miss out on seeing the wonder of now, its opportunities, gifts and learning. Disappointments really can become a thing of the past.
- Re-charge. Schedule in some quite time every day. Recharged, we will feel that we have more to give and share with others.
Tip: use your commute or any moments in the day that arise to just breathe and be present.
- ‘I’ to ‘We.’ ‘Competition’ to ‘co-operation’. ‘Me against you’ to, ‘How can we work together to tackle this problem?’.
Tip: we feel less threatened when we move from the ‘I of the ego’ to the ‘I of our inner self’. In this awareness, we are able to access our innate qualities of peace, love and happiness, and know that no-one can rob us of them.
- Unlimited Gratitude. Notice the everyday good in your life. This builds our trust in life and attracts more good into our lives.
- Compliment versus Fix. Do you ever try to fix others? When we do, we are focusing on others’ weaknesses. Instead, focus on others’ good points and compliment them on their strengths.
Tip: when we focus on the best in others’, we encourage the best in them and ourselves.
- Go from peaceful to being at peace. To be at peace with our self, our life, others and what is happening.
Tip: when we stop wishing for things to be different, contentment becomes our companion.